Hey blogger! Guess what I just saw? Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark midnight premiere. I was not amused...

Heart Break

Sometimes things hurt so much that it disturbs your appetite, leaves a knot in your stomach and makes you feel like you're going to vomit at any second. Constant purges throughout the day when you know you have nothing to let out. Sometimes I wonder if emotional pain hurts more than physical pain. I know emotional pain can infect the mind and poison all other thoughts more than physical pain. It can torture every fiber of your entire being. Not all emotional distress, but the kind that is so bad, you cry all night, hyperventilate, and can't stay sleeping, even though that's all you wish to do. You have so many people to talk to, yet the one person you want to talk to is the one that hurt you so bad. Thoughts flow through your mind like white water rapids, splashing every which way, sticking around for only a few seconds, but never fully leaving.
This sounds like a terrible break up, but it has nothing to do with a guy. It's worse than any heartbreak story I've ever heard in my life. This is a true heart break, torn in half with a few stab wounds. Scars will be left, the heart will mend, though it may take a while. Just because you live with someone does not mean you know them. Your best friend has the ability to fuck with your heart almost more so than any guy you like. Especially when they're your sister. Your everything.

I Want You To Know..

....that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone.

Forgot To Mention:

I want to start my day-to-day picture project.

I just need to set up the location for the shot and I'm too lazy to do such events...

I will get it started soon though. I can promise myself that.

4/16 Feels Right.

4/16 feels like a good number.

Today will be the start and I will learn to control.

I will succeed!

Gotta be confident, right?

So There's This Guy...

I really like him.
He's amazing.
He's pretty much perfect.
I want him.
Nothing's going to happen between us.
Fuck You unfair life...

Stop for a minute

AND LOOK AT THIS!

I just about peed my self. 

April Feels To Be My Month

I went to Chicago for the week with my brother and sister and when I got home I weighed myself...I gained like 10 pounds... fffuuuuuuuu! Let's make April the month I get under 200! Starting today, April 3, 2011.
I got this. I had a week off from work, which I really needed, and now the weather is super nice, I'm able to go jogging outside, I'm ready for this! I'm currently at 219 lbs.
I've decided I need to be more serious about my lactose intolerance issue [yes, yes I am..] and I need to cut dairy from my diet all together. It needs to be done. I get sick every time I eat it, so it must be done.
I'm also taking away peanut butter. I eat too much of it not thinking about the fact that it's mostly butter. My mom pointed that out to me the other day, my mind was like, whoa..
Alright, I got this. I really got this! Biking season is upon us, and I'm going to take advantage of this so much! I love biking, I've been waiting all winter to bike! aljdk still chilly, but I can suck it up haha
Also, the whole jogging thing, I've been in a jogging mood lately and after having that break from home and work this past week, I really feel as though I can accomplish this. I really need to stick to the eating though, that's where I get caught up. The exercise I got, but the eating is my issue... damn eating habits >_<
Just gotta remember: healthy, healthy, healthy!

My mouth

Tastes like butt